I Wake Up.

I wake up. Tom is next to me, it was a dream. Yet, I feel funny…

I wake up. Tom is next to me, it was a dream. I am in the kitchen – I feel funny…

I wake up. I feel Tom next to me, I go to the kitchen. Something is not quite right…

I wake up. Something is not right. I go to the kitchen. I feel funny. I need something.

I wake up. Something is not right. I need to fix this. I need help. Tom is next to me, asleep. Who can help me? Today I Root Cleared REASON, ACCEPTANCE, LOVE – something is going on. Caroline, I need help.

I wake up. I need help. Caroline – no it’s the middle of the night. What time is it? My phone says 3:16am. Wait, no – 1:48am. The numbers morph in front of my eyes. Something is up. It’s the middle of the night.

I wake up. I can’t call Caroline. Dane. He’s in America – he’ll be awake. I send him a message. “Are you awake?” It comes out as gibberish; my fingers aren’t connecting with the letters. I need help.

I wake up. Tom is next to me. I need help. I can clear this myself – I’ve been practicing mental muscle testing. I scroll through the list in my mind – a Spleen emotion, I…

I wake up.  Dane. I send him a message. My mind says “SOS”, my screen says “SOUS”. I run through the Emotions in my head. Liver –

I wake up. Tom is asleep. I need to talk to Dane. I walk out of the house, into the darkness. Instantly, I feel vulnerable. I make it to the park on the corner, creatures of the night are gathered there, including our shrieking neighbour. I’m scared, something’s not right.

I wake up. I hear Dane’s voice, the certainty and rhythm provides some comfort, yet something’s not right. I run through the emotions list in my head: Central.

I wake up. Tom is next to me. The memory of repeated awakenings burns strongly in my mind. I go to the toilet.

I wake up. Tom is next to me. He sleeps peacefully.

I wake up. Tom is asleep next to me. Is it over?

I dream of fish and chips, eggplants, runners, birthdays, my mum, my sister, Clare…

I wake up. Tom cuddles up to me. I cuddle into him. I feel his skin on my skin. I feel the pressure of my full bladder. I feel the solidity of the bed. I see cracks of early morning light breaking through the blinds. I hear the birds. I hear the neighbours. I taste my morning saliva. I smell the sweet scent of human.

I am awake.

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