I feel full and frustrated. Things are not flowing. My belly aches as though I’m bleeding, but I’m not. And I’m not due to be… I level up. This time I realise that it’s too much for me to do both my friend’s and my own in one sitting. I feel slightly resentful for it, which I’m happy about because now I know my truth, my limit – This feels good. One of the reasons I wanted a partner was to test my ability to take someone else through the process. Here’s one of the first of many moments of clarity I receive sitting in Third Eye Energy…
Leveling up helps a little, I feel some excitement for the coming week. I have 2 integration tasks.
Task 1: Yoni Mapping Session the following day.
After the session the pain in my belly disappears. My body was responding to the build-up for this session. Again I learn to trust my body, she never lies, there’s always a reason for her messages, even if I don’t know what they are yet.
(And the BIG one) Task 2: Ask No Questions for the week.
As soon as I set this task, I’m filled with anticipation and excitement. Asking questions is one of my favourite pass-times. I have been in trouble many times through my life for “asking too many questions”. This is a huge commitment. Also, I’m about to leave for ConFest.
- I have to listen more to see whether my desired question will be answered.
- Trusting that my question doesn’t need an answer.
- Sitting comfortably in the silence I would normally fill with a question.
- Owning my desire: “I would like some water”, rather than “Can I have some water please?” and hoping for someone to help me or finding a way to fulfill my own desires, rather than involving someone else. This felt incredibly demanding at times and incredibly liberating at others.
- At ConFest the huge challenge was the friendly “How are you?” – I realised I couldn’t not ask this question! I guess some people could do it – and maybe ConFest was the opportunity to try, but I’m not that person (or I’m not there yet!)
- Over my lifetime I have learned to make my questions really good and powerful. They can cut through bullshit and that it is my gift. If I’m not asking questions, I’m actually letting the world down! People want and need my questions!
It’s been almost a month since I leveled up, the next appointment has been hard to schedule. Another realisation: I still struggle with finishing things. I thought I’d conquered this with the completion of my Diploma last year. However I saw this month that although I finish things, I haven’t learned to give myself acknowledgement or appreciation for the things that I’ve finished. Wow – I’ve been missing the best bit!
Coming to the end of the journey I am starting to reflect on the huge changes I see in myself and my attitude. I think it’s been particularly hard to leave this level because the realisations just keep coming!
– I feel disconnected from my partner, when I am actually feeling disconnected from myself.
– I’m afraid of publicity.
– Who my “ideal client” is, after quite a lot of resistance!
– Having my own business is hard.
– I can do it.
– This is not Financial Spiral as I’ve been calling it. It’s WEALTH SPIRAL. It changes everything.